Why is it so hard to hear “You are a good mom!”

Why is it so hard to hear "You are a good mom?"

We all discuss the impact that negative comments have on our happiness level or well-being. We know all too well that those hurtful remarks directed towards performance, appearance or conduct, slowly crack our spirit.

But we are struggling equally hard to allow positive feedback.

Last week, I was sitting in a cafe next to my house. Outside was a mom with her three small children. She had croissants and juice on the table, and her children were running and playing in front of the store. From where I was standing, she was so cool!
They finished their food, and they all climbed in the car. She was alone. With three kids under 6.
And because I know her, I sent her a message that said: “You’re an awesome mom!”
Her almost instant reply blew me off – “don’t you see they are all three in the front seat?”
She couldn’t see what I saw, an incredible mom who took her kids for a snack out of the house, who let them run free and explore their environment and then allowed them the fun to squeeze in the front seat.
I saw her as a warrior. She saw herself as a loser.

A couple of days after, I went to the swimming pool with my kids. There was another woman, a mother of three grown children, now in her late 40s. She was wearing a bikini, and I thought she looked amazing. So I said it: “Wow, you look fantastic!”
She then proceeded to squeeze her invisible love handle and pat her belly, saying, “no, actually, I am fat, I just gained 2 kilos in this holiday.”
I looked. I really did. I couldn’t see it. All I saw, was a woman whose body was toned.
I saw her as a beautiful woman. She saw herself as a fat one.

Everywhere we look, we see people preaching “self-acceptance” and “self-love,” but the second somebody acknowledges our courage, success or beauty, we try very hard to convince them otherwise.

So where is the birthplace of a good mom?

In her own heart.

There can be thousands of people coming to you to say you are doing a good job taking care of your kids. If you don’t believe them, that is because you don’t believe it yourself. You don’t feel it.
There can be thousands of people telling you that you are beautiful. If you don’t believe it in your heart, it will never become true for you.

So how about this.

Look in the mirror and say:
I am a damn fine mom. I am a good mom! I AM A GOOD MOM!
I am beautiful!
I am smart!
I am creative!
I am enough!

It has to start within the softness of your own soul.

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