Which One is the Better Mom

Which one is the better mom

Is it the one that co-sleeps or the one who sleep-trains her children?

The mother who sits down on the floor playing with or alongside her children or the one who encourages the kids to play by themselves?

Is it the parent who enrolls her kid in an after school activity every single day or the one who lets her child play freely and explore all afternoon?

Is it better to initiate discipline for the kids or perhaps allow them to suffer the consequences of the behavior they choose to have?

There are two sides of every single story, and an argument for every single decision one makes towards her kids.

And most of the times (almost all), that a mother decided something, it was because she was thinking she was doing the right thing for her kids.

The mother who wants to share a bed with her kids wants them to feel close, protected and part of the family.
But in the same time…
The mother who sleep-trains her children has deep respect for her own sleep. She knows she can’t be a good mother unless she gets proper rest. She wants to teach her kids how to achieve this. She wants them not to be dependent on other people’s physical presence to fall asleep or stay sleeping.

The mother who sits down, playing with her kids wants them to be close to her. She wants to be part of their games, stories, and development.
But in the same time…
The mother who sends her kids to play by themselves wants the kids to develop independence, find solutions and not rely on her for every single step of the journey. Maybe she just needs some time alone to gather her thoughts or chop an onion.

The mother who schedules after school activities wants her child to achieve. She wants them to broaden their mind and their skills. She wants them to know there are options and get better than she ever was.
But in the same time…
The mother who doesn’t put her kids into any activities just wants her children to enjoy their childhood without an agenda. She wants them to be bored and find ways to entertain themselves. She wants them to have the freedom of doing absolutely nothing.

The mother who disciplines her kids with time-outs, withdrawal of benefits or many rules believes she is shaping her children to be honorable people who follow and respect authority and understand what they must or mustn’t do.
But in the same time…
The mother who never put her child in the corner believes that dialogue is what will make her child understand what went wrong. She wants her child to experience the consequences of his behavior, whatever that is.

Everybody thinks they are the GOOD GUY.

But we judge. All day, every day, we measure ourselves up or down based on what other moms are doing. Without even considering that whatever we and other people are doing, is mostly unconsciously.

We put the kids in our bed because we remember the dark, scary nights when we cried alone in our bed.
We put the kids into their own room at 7 PM because we remember how difficult it was for us just to learn to be alone and not feel lonely. Especially at night.
We play with our kids because our own mother never sat down to play with us when we were small.
We send them to play by themselves because that’s how we remember learning from most of our games.
We put them in activities because our parents could never afford to put us in any.
We keep them home because we suffered through physical and mental pain being pushed to achieve, be faster or stronger.
We put them in the corner because that’s exactly what happened to us, and we have to justify our own mother’s actions. We say, “I deserved it. I was bad. But look how normal I turned out to be now.”
We talk to them through misbehaviors because we remembered how lonely, scared and enraged we felt in that dark corner.

Everybody hopes they are doing the right thing.

Analyze your own behaviors, actions or reactions and become conscious of WHY you do what you do. And why does it bother you what others are doing?

But mostly, stop judging! Every single one of us fights an inner battle most people have no idea about!


Which one is the better mom?
Why do we judge other moms?
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