2017 in Review

2017 in Review

This year has been a significant year for me because I had a powerful sense of intention.
I sat down at the end of last year and got deep into how I wanted to feel.
It wasn’t a list of resolutions for the sake of fitting into the world even more (join a gym, lose weight, drink more water, eat more veggies, be less angry and read more).
What was different this time was seeking in the underlying layers of desire and ask the critical question:

What will I do to feel the way I want to feel?

This is the base of Desire Mapping

And what happened when I did this, was that all the things “I should be doing” because I heard were cool, or other people did or were sensible or healthy, no longer made any sense for me, because that was not really about me.
Instead, I focused on all the things I truly desired. It made this process personal and meaningful.

My desired feelings for the year were Joy, Abundance, Connected, Feminine. In all areas of my life.
The five areas to implement these are:
Livelihood & Lifestyle – career, money, work, home, style, space, possessions, fashion, travel, gifts, sustainability & resources
Body & Wellness – healing, fitness, food, rest & relaxation, mental health, sensuality & movement
Creativity & Learning – artistic & self-expression, interests, education & hobbies
Relationships & Society – romance, friendship, family, collaboration, community & causes
Essence & Spirituality – soul, inner self, truth, intuition, faith & practices

Let me give you an example.

What did I have to do in the realm of Body&Wellness so I can feel Joy, Abundance, Connected and Feminine?
I gave up trying to embrace workouts I hated and thinking I SHOULD learn how to enjoy them. There might come a day when the gym will make me feel Feminine and Abundant, but that day is not today. So I embraced solely workouts that I enjoyed – Pilates, Yoga, dance, walking, stretching.
I removed the scale from my bedroom and vowed to never again step on it to obtain an indicator of how my body is doing or feeling. I promised to never step on a scale EVER AGAIN, as I recognized that every time I did that, I was drawing my self-worth from how low that number was.
I embraced the foods that made me feel amazing and kindly banished the others. I no longer pretended to enjoy alcohol and nurse an entire evening to finish a half a glass of wine. I no longer felt the outside judgment when I said I was not eating meat.
I experimented with fasting, and it brought tremendous clarity into my mind over body, but also body over mind relationship.
I asked myself what the practical things I could do to feel more Joyful, Abundant, Connected and Feminine when it came to how I perceived my body and how I took care of it.

This is one example, but the thinking process is the same for all five areas of our lives that require intention.

This year, I also learned some other, beneficial lessons:

The wisdom of cycles

I finally understood the seasons and the periods of life, growth, quietness, success, and rest. I no longer push-push-push and feel like a failure when there is no forward movement. If things progress smoothly, that’s where I should be. If I have tremendous resistance and no longer see the joy in the process, I need to re-focus.
This has been applicable to me in parenting, marriage, friendships, business, and education.

I have no control

This is the year when I finally understood that I indeed have no control over life’s events. I got “The Call” from school that my son fell off the slide, and I had to rush to the hospital where he got four stitches. No amount of worrying, scenario rehearsal or projection could have prepared me for how I felt during that time. While this was a small incident, it was nevertheless an awakening into the reality of having ZERO control over life’s events, but 100% control over how I react to them.

Trust

Over the years, the connection to my soul transformed – from childhood magic and angels to religion to end of magic and realism, to agnosticism and finally to seeking. This year, it all came together, and I no longer doubt my spirituality.

Simplify

We all get lost in an overwhelming amount of choices, stuff, calendars, toys or people to see. The more we can remove the clutter, be it material or emotional, the more we can focus on the truly liberating things.
I’ve simplified everything in my life so I can focus solely on what is important.

Abundance

To experience abundance, I must first be able to recognize it around me. I see it in nature, I speak of it and I take the conscious (but very slow) steps to move away from the scarcity mentality of my upbringing.

Sit with it

The only way through difficulty is sitting in discomfort. The only way to get stuck in pain is to run away from the discomfort of feeling it fully.

The path I’m on unfolds over time

I always believed that eventually “I will arrive” at a final place – status, happiness, money, knowledge, conviction, perfection. I now know this to be an illusion. Life is forever mutable and our perception of it even more so.

Making things happen

There are two big components to success – hard work and vision.
I can imagine myself being a thought leader supporting moms regain their joy and happiness, but if I’m not willing to sit down every day to write for my readers and connect with them, there will be nothing coming out of my vision.
Equally, if I sit down to write every day, but I am not clear about what I want to communicate, how I want to change the conversation and what I want to contribute, my work will be in vain.
I understood that I could manifest the future I desire, do my affirmations, envision the life I want, but I also have to be willing to put in the hard work.

Courage and integrity

Expressed beautifully by Brene Brown:

“Strong back, soft front, wild heart.”

My favorite quote of the year.

I believe 2017 was a massive year for all of us. We saw changes in the world; we witnessed gender, race, social status renegotiated, we collectively spoke the unspeakable and asked the previously un-askable questions.

I have faith that whatever personal unfolding each of us has been through has been necessary.
And now, at the end of the year, we have gifted the opportunity to refocus, reset intention, and proceed on a “clean slate” that a new year presents.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Photo by Lison Zhao on Unsplash

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